'So Tired Of Feeling Helpless As A Parent' — Gen X Mom Rants Her Adult Kids Are 'Drowning' Financially Despite Doing Everything Right

In a recent viral TikTok video, Jessica McCabe, a 51-year-old parent from Generation X, expressed her concerns over the challenges faced by her adult children in today’s economic climate. 

McCabe, whose children are 28 and 25, shared her frustration with the significant disparities between her experiences at their age and the realities her children are facing. 

In the video, she began with, “I am so tired of feeling helpless as a parent.” 

She explained her belief that imparting the lessons she learned about hard work leading to a good job and a fulfilling life would be beneficial for her children. She also acknowledged this belief isn't holding true.

"Worked for me, why wouldn't it work for them? Because it doesn't. The world has f**king changed," she said.

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McCabe highlighted the difference between “struggling” and “drowning,” noting that while previous generations also faced difficulties, they were able to see a light at the end of the tunnel — a sentiment she feels is not shared by today’s youth. 

"We all struggle," she said. "But there's a difference between struggling and drowning."

She pointed out the reality that earning less than $10 per hour in her era was sufficient for independence, whereas now, a six-figure salary barely covers the cost of a modest living space.

The video delves into McCabe’s personal experiences with her children, illustrating the financial impracticalities they face despite following traditional paths of success, such as pursuing higher education and securing full-time employment. Her son, after obtaining a college degree and a full-time job, found himself unable to afford to move out even after 10 months of saving, highlighting the exorbitant cost of housing. Similarly, her daughter’s attempt to buy a house revealed unexpected financial burdens imposed by mortgage companies.

McCabe’s commentary sheds light on broader societal issues, including the inflation of living costs, the inefficacy of traditional success pathways and the growing divide between the wealthy and the rest of society. Her mention of the value placed on influencers versus the undervaluing of traditional 40-hour workweek jobs encapsulates a sentiment of economic and social disparity affecting many families today.

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She’s not alone in feeling helpless as a parent. Plenty of Gen X parents are in the same position, watching their adult children struggle financially despite seemingly doing everything “right.” This isn’t a coincidence. Deloitte’s 2023 survey echoes these concerns, highlighting the cost of living as a top worry for both Gen Z and millennials, with over half of each group living paycheck to paycheck. Economic uncertainty has made it difficult for these generations to plan for their futures, including career advancement, homeownership or starting a family. 

Nearly half of Gen Z and 4 in 10 millennials report feeling stressed all or most of the time, with financial concerns being a significant contributor to their stress levels​. 

Millennials have achieved higher levels of education compared to previous generations, with a significant increase in the number of people obtaining at least a bachelor’s degree. For instance, Pew Research Center reports about 43% of millennial women and 36% of millennial men have at least a bachelor’s degree, a major contrast to the silent generation’s 11% and 19%, respectively​​. 

Despite this, the financial payoff of higher education has not followed the upward trend of educational attainment. The median net worth of millennial households is significantly lower than that of Generation X households at similar ages, with a notable portion of millennials holding student debt that exceeds their annual income​. 

A Government Accountability Office report highlights that over the last 40 years, fewer Americans are out-earning their parents, with millennials facing more significant student debt, lower levels of homeownership and less net worth compared to previous generations. 

For those struggling with debt, low income or rising living costs, seeking advice from a financial adviser might be the help needed to avoid financial ruin. Similarly, parents seeing their children face obstacles because of systemic issues might find that consulting with a financial expert offers a way to keep their children’s hopes alive. In these challenging times, the importance of professional financial planning goes beyond simple number crunching; it’s crucial for protecting the dreams and goals that are at risk of being lost to economic difficulties.

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