USAA_Your Kids Are Grown, But You Wallet Tells A Different Story

A recent TD Ameritrade Holding Corp AMTD Financial Support Survey found that the average American who financially supported a family member in the last year provided $12,000.

However, many parents find that once they cut the proverbial apron strings, they don't seem to have an additional 10+ thousand dollars available.

Below are just a few possible reasons for the seemingly impossible disconnect between post-children money expectations and financial reality.

Related Link: The Cost Of Supporting Adult Children And Aging Parents

Those Apron Strings Aren't Quite As Severed As You Think

You may not be paying tuition or room and board costs any longer, but you still could be enabling them financially.

There is a psychological phenomenon involved here that often blurs the logic of parents with grown children. Regardless of how old your children are, they always have been and always will be your children. Because of that, because of our natural instincts to protect our own, many parents find themselves helping out their fledgling offspring.

The Wall Street Journal contributor and MarketWatch reporter Ruth Mantell commented, "Many parents will always feel an urge to take care of their sons and daughters, even when those children are fully grown, sometimes with kids of their own."

Mantell advised, "Parents first need to be sure that helping their children won't jeopardize their own financial health and that it won't finance continued self-destructive behavior." Emergencies happen, accidents and financial mistakes happen. And if you can afford to help in those dire situations, that can be a lifesaver for needing children. However, saying yes and "rescuing" your children at every turn can be detrimental to your own financial health and negatively affect your children.

Independence is difficult and financial independence is a hard lesson to learn – particularly for children who have not had to rely on financing basics while growing up.

Your Children Have Left The Nest, But Your Parents Are Back To Roost

So, your child's coming of age and newly found independence coincides with your parents deteriorating health and increasing dependence. You aren't alone.

Academically referred to as the "sandwich generation," individuals currently between 40 and 65 who are caring for both their aging parents and their adult children often feel stuck between two generations who seem to desperately need them.

The financial burden remains the same, but the money drain is shifted from the younger generation to the older while you stand knee-deep in the middle trying to keep everyone afloat.

Pew Research Center has estimated that the number of Americans in the sandwich generation is marginally growing, but the financial burdens are nonetheless increasing exponentially.

Source: Kim Parker and Eileen Patten, Pew Research Center, PewSocialTrends.org

Related Link: When Your Parents' Financial Health Becomes Your Concern

You Aren't As Frugal As You Once Were

The third frequent cause for having less money than you expect after your kids grow up is your own tendencies.

Reevaluate your budget. Look at it closely. Look at your spending habits since your children became financially independent. Have they changed? Are you spending more in certain areas?

It's possible that consciously or subconsciously, you are more lax with your money knowing that there is not a regular drain on your income. Unfortunately, this mind-set can lead to irresponsible spending behaviors. Not paying for your adult children any longer is not a free ticket to act financially carefree. Regardless of your age or situation, budgeting and keeping up with your financial profile is essential.

If you find yourself in this situation or a similar circumstance, go back to the basics. Look at the numbers and determine what you can do to stay in control. Take responsibility for your financial future. Ask for help if necessary. Do not let your bank account surprise your budgeting ambitions.

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