Ted Haggard and Gary Busey to Swap Wives

OK, maybe the Mayans were right about the world ending in 2012, because this is the kind of story that makes me wonder if the end is nigh. Ted Haggard, the evangelical minister famous for smoking meth and having sex with men, will appear on ABC's "Celebrity Wife Swap". His partner family will be...Gary Busey's family. Busey only APPEARS to be on meth most of the time. The show is a spin-off of the regular Wife Swap program. In that version, familes trade wives for two weeks, with the wives going to live with the other family. For the first week, the family follows the rules of the house, as laid down by the outgoing (natural) wife. For the second wife, the incoming mother makes the rules of the house, which the family must abide by. At the end, everyone gets together and has a big chat about what a great disaster/learning experience it was for everyone involved. How, exactly, will that work for Gary Busey and Ted Haggard? What kinds of rules will Mrs Haggard lay down? No drugs? No drugs harder than marijuana and mushrooms? No sex with men before dessert? And I can't even imagine Busey lives with any rules. God knows what will happen to Haggard after 7 days of being able to do as he pleases. He might come back out of the closet, meth pipe in one hand and a male stripper in the other. The Colorado Springs Gazette reports that the show will begin taping at the GLBT Pride Center in Colorado Springs on Thurs., Sept. 22. The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered Pride Center will be hosting Gary Busey and Ted Haggard in a wife swap? That's a mouthful. In any case, the rumor is that ABC has ordered six episodes of the show, but no other casting decisions have been announced. I can think of a few pairings that would be fantastic. Any celebrity show ought to at least consider Jay-Z and his wife, Beyonce. I think the perfect fit for them might be Republican Presidential Candidate Newt Gingrich and his (third) wife, Callista. The Gingrich family is all about spending those benjamins (see their million dollar tab at Tiffany's) and Beyonce might be able to teach the portly former history professor a thing or two about class. Harrison Ford and his wife, Calista Flockhart (better known as Ally McBeal) would be a perfect pairing for Emeril Lagasse and his wife, Alden Lovelace. While Lovelace, a real estate broker, could help Ford pick out a new setting for the next installment of Indiana Jones, Emeril could forcefeed Flockhart delicious food until she's no longer a waif. Bam! Since everyone in Hollywood is related to Kevin Bacon in one form or another, how about we include him, and his wife, Kyra Sedgwick, in another pairing? Sedgwick, who plays a wonderful Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson on TNT's "The Closer" (watch it, if you don't already), would be a perfect foil for a family that's always in trouble. We'd have to bend the rules a little to include whatever porn star he's currently shagging, but wouldn't Charlie Sheen be great on this show? Since Kyra plays a cop on TV, this might count toward some of his community service. And who knows...maybe Bacon can set the porn starlet straight. Do you have any ideas for good Hollywood pairings for the upcoming Celebrity Wife Swap? Leave them in the comments section below.