Comic Relief, Employment Division

COMIC RELIEF I

Story:

Republicans have decided they're not going to give a rebuttal to President Obama's jobs speech later this week, a decision House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi took as a high affront to the White House.

At least three GOP lawmakers also have announced they're not going to show up for the presidential address. House Speaker John Boehner's office then confirmed Tuesday evening that nobody from the party would deliver an official televised response.

Pelosi said the party's “silence” would “speak volumes about their lack of commitment to creating jobs.”

Awwwww, poor baby.

Reminder:

Republicans Remind Obama: Democrats Are Blocking House-Passed Jobs Bills

Republican leaders are reminding President Obama that the House of Representatives has passed more than a dozen “pro-growth” measures to spur job creation, but with one exception, Senate Democrats have refused to consider any of those bills.

In a letter to the president on Tuesday, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) and Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) listed all the House-passed “jobs” bills that are now languishing in the Senate. They include a bill to reduce the regulatory burdens on farmers and small business owners; a bill to block a “job-destroying national energy tax,” and a bill to boost offshore energy production.

Boehner and Cantor also outlined “potential opportunities for Congress and the White House to work together” on job-creation.

A full list is at the link.

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COMIC RELIEF II

Never let it be said that yours truly does not provide useful job-seeking advice — in this case, things NOT to put on a resume or potential job-related communications (not necessarily in the order indicated; adapted from the slideshow at the link):

1. Do not use a shaky email address. “me@shakinmybootie.com” is not helpful.
2. Don't forget to put your last name on your resume.
3. Calling yourself a great dancer with “versatile toes” and “ability to do the moonwalk” gives a less than professional impression.
4. Don't insist on getting paid in advance for a scheduled interview because “my time is valuable.”
5. If asked about your criminal record, try to avoid saying that your arrest was for assaulting your previous boss.
6. Confidence is good; conceit (“Would you miss the opportunity to hire someone like me? I think not”) is not.
7. Romance is nice, but if you're a husband and wife team looking to job share, don't submit a love poem as part of your application.
8. You should not use your dog or cat as a reference.
9. Try to avoid using references working at places from which you've been fired.
10. Though it could be true, don't indicate that “The more I get paid, the harder I'll work.”

Don't knock it. This more help than anyone will ever see from Nancy Pelosi — or Barack Obama.