I Haven't Spent 'A Single Dollar' — Sister-In-Law Says After A $6K Trip — While Brother Seeks Another $15K To Cut Expenses

A family rift grew after a woman refused her brother's request for another $15,000. It escalated when the original poster wrote on r/AmItheA**hole that her sister-in-law claimed she "hasn't spent a single dollar" of her husband's money.

The OP wrote that she lent her brother $65,000 over several years — $25,000 for a house deposit, $25,000 for their wedding, and $15,000 to clear loan-shark debt — and told him the last loan was final. 

When he returned less than a year later asking for another $15,000, OP wrote that she refused, which led to rising tension with both him, and his wife. She wrote that their mother offered to help even though she depends on OP financially. 

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Spending Decisions Widen The Gap

The poster wrote that the pair preferred the larger rental abroad because they freelance and wanted separate office spaces. She wrote that this choice, combined with earlier spending, pushed their budget beyond what they could manage. 

She wrote that their wedding, which included about 200 guests, exceeded its budget after they declined her suggestion to scale back or use the $25,000 gift for a trip instead. OP wrote that the couple used $18,000 of guest gifts to cover the venue.

A $6,000 holiday became another point of conflict. OP wrote that her sister-in-law insisted she had to cover the entire trip and treated it as an unfair strain. OP wrote that she could not understand why anyone else should take responsibility for it. 

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She added that the sister-in-law told their mother the refusal created "inconvenience" in her spending and that she had already contributed $20,000 over the years. OP wrote the sister-in-law insisted they were financially independent even as they sought more help.

A Final Talk Before Walking Away

OP wrote that she ended contact after one last conversation. She wrote that her sister-in-law described their rental as an "investment" in their freelance work and said they deserved their lifestyle after years of effort. 

OP wrote that the conversation made it clear her sister-in-law saw her finances as entirely separate from her brother's. She wrote that the realization solidified her decision to step back while he remained more than $50,000 in debt.

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Reactions From The Comment Thread

A lot of comments responded to OP's situation, with many focusing on how repeated loans blurred financial boundaries. One Redditor wrote, "Dude, you don’t need to explain yourself at all, I’d laugh at my sister and hang up the phone if she asked for money. Adults have to live within their means and deal with the lumps that come from not doing so."

Another commenter added, "If dude is borrowing from loan sharks, there’s way more going on than he’s telling."

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