A couple who achieved a major financial victory by tackling more than $100,000 in debt had their celebration cut short when one partner traded the disciplined life for a live-for-the-moment philosophy.
Tam, the stressed-out wife in North Carolina, called into "The Ramsey Show," saying she and her husband are now back in the debt cycle.
The couple earned their financial freedom after Tam introduced her husband to smart money management, but now he's tossed the entire plan. He's swapped saving for spending, and their credit card balance is constantly hovering between $20,000 and $30,000.
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The woman is heading back to work and wants to become the family's financial hero, hoping to save for their future.
Show host Dave Ramsey said the real challenge isn't the money itself — it's the marriage — and that Tam "can't outearn his craziness."
"You're going to retire broke," Ramsey said. "Get ready to enjoy dog food. Alpo is your choice for dinner."
The couple's problem is deeper than the husband overspending. It's an issue of emotional maturity and short-sighted impulsive behavior that leads to credit card debt, threatens their retirement and leaves them facing a meager future.
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Ramsey suggests they seek marriage counseling.
"It sounds like you guys were never aligned," he said.
Arguments about money are consistently cited as the No. 1 predictor of divorce, topping arguments about children sex and in-laws, according to research from Dr. Sonya Britt at Kansas State University.
Her research shows that couples with misaligned financial values experience significantly more relationship distress, regardless of their actual wealth. This often boils down to one partner being a tightwad and the other a spendthrift and disagreements over priorities.
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Financial infidelity is also an issue. Nearly 4 out of 10 adults married or living with a partner admit to keeping financial secrets from their partner, according to Bankrate. This includes hiding a purchase, hiding a bank account or credit card and lying about the amount of debt owed or money earned.
Ramsey delved into Tam's husband's mindset, speculating that his motivation to pay off the $100,000 debt he had accumulated was to impress her and get married.
"It may have seemed as though you were aligned, but clearly you were not," Ramsey said. "That's one of the things you can talk about in counseling, is what do you guys align on as your vision for the future? And it can't be about today. It has to be about where you see yourselves in X amount of years."
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