A millennial couple shared their story on Reddit about the financial and emotional strain of living with a parent who decided to retire at 63 despite having no savings or a plan in place. The original poster explained that their mother-in-law moved in and now expects to pay less rent while contributing little to the household.
Struggling To Set Boundaries While Planning For A Baby
“She is barely able to afford her share of rent,” the poster wrote. The couple rents a home for $2,800 a month and charges the mother-in-law $1,000 for her room. They are both working full-time, trying to pick up second jobs, and hoping to start a family. Meanwhile, the mother-in-law “sits at home watching TV most of the day.”
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The situation is complicated by a long history of emotional abuse. “She has been a very abusive and toxic person most of her life,” the poster added. The couple feels cornered—their own goals, including having a baby, are on hold due to the financial burden and emotional stress of supporting her.
Many Reddit users were straightforward. “You are not your mother’s retirement plan. She is not entitled to your space, your funds, your energy or your time. No is a full sentence,” one of the most upvoted comments read.
Another commenter pointed out the obvious conflict: “OP can afford to subsidize the MIL’s retirement or they can afford a kid. They can’t do both.”
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A Widespread Problem Among Millennials
The thread revealed that this isn’t a one-off situation. Dozens of millennials chimed in with similar experiences of parents retiring early with no savings and expecting their adult children to provide support. Many said they had gone no-contact with financially and emotionally demanding parents.
One person summed it up harshly but plainly: “She is not ‘retired,’ she is unemployed. This is a lifetime of poor planning that put her in this situation.”
Another added, “If you give people an inch, they will take a mile. Especially family.”
A few commenters suggested practical solutions, like helping the mother-in-law apply for subsidized housing or seeking out a roommate arrangement with another senior. Others were more direct: “Kick her out. Honestly, this will only get worse as she gets older.”
The poster clarified that they had tried to help in the past. When the mother-in-law lost part of her income due to working while receiving disability, the couple paid around $8,000 in rent and food to avoid an eviction. They now regret that decision.
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Can You Afford A Kid If You’re Supporting A Parent?
The emotional weight of the situation is made worse by the poster’s desire to start a family. “I agree it doesn't look like we can afford a kid,” they wrote. “I think it's classist to say poor people shouldn't have kids… She got to have a baby and enjoy being a mother, why can't I?”
Others pushed back. “You will be in poverty forever if you bring a child into this situation,” one wrote. Another said, “There is no situation in life that is improved by having a toddler tag along.”
A Decision Has To Be Made
While some expressed sympathy, most agreed that hard boundaries were needed. One commenter warned, “Once you let somebody come and live with you for any amount of time, it is impossible to get them to leave. Ask me how I know.”
Another added, “Tell your MIL the ground rules and if she doesn't uphold them, then it's time for her to leave. Be firm on that.”
The thread served as both catharsis and community for people dealing with similar intergenerational financial tensions. And as more aging parents face retirement with little to no savings, it's obvious this won't be the last story like it.
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