Her Daughter and Boyfriend Asked to Move In – Suze Orman Told Her She Should Say No

When a parent wants to support their adult children, it can be difficult to know where to draw the line — especially when housing is involved. On a recent episode of the "Women & Money" podcast, personal finance expert Suze Orman responded to a listener named Keila, a divorced mom with two young adult children. One lives with her already; the other is asking to move back in — with her boyfriend.

But Orman didn't hold back. Her advice? Don't do it.

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The Backstory: One Mom, Two Kids, and a Tight Budget

Keila earns about $92,000 a year and still owes $60,000 on her mortgage. She also has a $25,000 home equity loan — which she took out for home repairs — no emergency fund, and is financially helping both of her children. Her 22-year-old daughter makes $30,000 annually and lives with her boyfriend, who earns around $20,000 a year from seasonal construction work.

The young couple is facing financial strain and wants to move in with Keila "for a period of time" to save up for a house. Keila asked Orman for guidance on what to charge them in rent — hoping to strike a balance between helping them and teaching financial responsibility.

"People First" Means You First, Says Orman

Orman pointed out something critical: Keila appears stable on paper, but she's stretched thin. Taking out a home equity loan for repairs signals that she doesn't have cash reserves, which puts her at risk if anything goes wrong — like a job loss or unexpected expense.

"You have to think about yourself before you continue to think about your kids," Orman said. "When I say ‘people first,' I mean you, Mama."

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Why Orman Objects to the Boyfriend Moving In

Orman questioned the boyfriend's role in the plan. While Keila's daughter is working and in school, her boyfriend is not in school and has irregular income. "Is that a boyfriend that has ambition?" Orman asked.

She also warned against assuming they'll be able to buy a house anytime soon. With their current financial situation, "they can no more afford a home than the man in the moon," Orman said.

If You Say Yes, Here's What Orman Recommends

If Keila does allow them to move in, Orman laid out specific guardrails:

• Charge $700 per month in rent plus any increase in utility or grocery costs
• Require a monthly contribution to a savings account, and review it regularly
• Create a written agreement outlining house rules, quiet hours, cleaning duties, and a move-out timeline
• Use the boyfriend's skills – like home repairs – as part of their rent contribution

"I’m just saying that’s what I would be doing to teach them responsibility," Orman said. "I would not make it easy on them."

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Setting Boundaries Isn't Just Financial — It's Emotional

Orman also raised a key point: How will Keila's 20-year-old son — who already lives with her — feel about sharing the space with his sister and her boyfriend? That discussion needs to happen first, Orman said.

Ultimately, Orman's message was clear: A parent's job isn't to solve every problem — it's to prepare their kids to stand on their own. And in this case, saying no might be the most loving — and financially responsible — thing Keila can do.

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