10 Weirdest Porn Film Achievements: Streisand, Stallone And ... Elon Musk?

Zinger Key Points
  • No, that's not Marilyn Monroe in "The Apple-Knockers and the Coke."
  • Sylvester Stallone was paid $200 in 1970 to take it all off.

This year marks the 50th anniversary of two landmark achievements in adult cinema: the premiere of Ralph Bakshi’s “Fritz the Cat,” the first X-rated animated feature, and the premiere of “Deep Throat,” the first (and only) pornographic film to rank among a year’s top 10 grossing films.

To celebrate this double golden anniversary, let’s take a look back at the history of clothing-free cinema with a tribute to the 10 weirdest moments in porn film history.

The Naughty Origins: Did you ever wonder where the porn film world began? Well, the first erotic movie was “Le coucher de la mariée,” which was made in Paris is 1896 within a year of the first public screenings of the new motion picture technology. While there was no nudity or sex on screen, the film’s depiction of a giddy bride undressing in front of her carnally impatient new husband on their honeymoon night showed that filmmakers had risqué ideas since the dawn of cinema.

Only two minutes of the film’s original seven-minute running time survives. And while it is very tame by today’s standards, it nonetheless set the foundation for a naughty cinematic tradition.

Bugs Bunny’s Porn Collection: During Hollywood’s Golden Era, the existence of pornographic films was never acknowledged in mainstream movies, although one unlikely production let slip filmdom’s dirty secret: the 1944 Warner Bros. cartoon “What’s Cookin’ Doc” has Bugs Bunny screening his performance for Academy voters when he accidentally includes a “stag reel” in his presentation. (The expression “stag reel” referred to the all-male private audiences that were the chief market for these films.)

When the film was syndicated to television in the 1950s, the stag reel gag was not edited out – thus, it introduced successive generations of youngsters to the concept of something they weren’t allowed to watch.

The Best Of The Bunch: If there was a porn film that could be considered the “Citizen Kane” of the genre, it would be the 1951 “Smart Alec,” starring an aspiring model named Juanita Slusher. The film was immensely popular, selling millions of 8mm copies well into the 1980s, thanks in large part to better-than-average production values and Slusher’s beauty and vivacious personality – her grown-up demeanor was so strong that few people realized she was 16 years old at the time.

Slusher would later acknowledge she only did the film because she had one dollar to her name and the pay, and later helped the FBI collar the filmmaker for exploiting a minor. However, she didn’t travel too far from the skin-display realm – in her adult career, she would later gain fame on the burlesque circuit under the stage name Candy Barr (see video below).

The Alleged Marilyn Monroe Porn Films: In 1980, Penthouse magazine published screen captures from an untitled 1940s porn film with the claim that a then-unknown Marilyn Monroe was the leading lady in that flick. However, the photos of the woman in the film showed no resemblance to the screen idol. Another rumor floated for years that Monroe appeared in a porn short called “The Apple-Knockers and the Coke,” but research determined the woman in that film was Playboy model Arline Hunter. (See photo below)

While Monroe did a nude photo shoot in 1949 for photographer Tom Kelley that was later republished in Playboy, there is no evidence that she bared it all for the movie camera. Still, several video sites still offer these films with its misidentified star.

The Alleged Barbra Streisand Porn Film: In 1970, a fly-by-night company advertising in adult magazines promoted an 8mm film that promised “Barbra Streisand in Hardcore!” The film attracted a large number of curious viewers – including, of all people, Streisand herself. In a 1977 interview with Playboy magazine, a fully clothed Streisand amusingly recalled her impression of watching her naked doppelganger.

“I couldn’t resist the temptation to see what the actress looked like – and also to check out her performance – so we got a copy,” Streisand said. “The film, naturally, is very blurred. The girl has long hair, like I did back in the Sixties, although she was chubby, while I was very skinny. But the dead giveaway came when the camera zoomed in on her hands around the guy’s you-know-what. There they were: short, stubby fingers! Definitely not mine. So, all you would-be buyers, don’t waste your money.”

Sylvester Stallone’s Porn Film: Also in 1970, an out-of-work and financially strapped young actor named Sylvester Stallone accepted $200 to appear in an X-rated film called “Party at Kitty and Stud’s.” The film itself was never released and remained forgotten until “Rocky” came out six years later.

The film, quite frankly, is a bore. Stallone and his leading lady have sex in a bathtub, on a bed, and with other swingers in the living room of their Manhattan apartment. Stallone also flexes his muscles in the mirror and whips Henrietta Holm with his belt, though he barely seems to be hitting her despite the shrieks on the soundtrack. The film ends with the naked cast dancing in a circle.

Andy Warhol’s Taboo Break: The first pornographic film to have a mainstream theatrical release was “Blue Movie,” a 1969 feature film directed and produced by Andy Warhol. Louis Waldon and Viva played a New York couple who talk about the Vietnam War, go about their quotidian chores and have 10 minutes of graphic sex.

The film’s premiere engagement was at the Garrick Theater in Manhattan, and police raided the venue after the film had been running for a month, arrested the theater’s staff while seizing the print from the projection room. The New York Criminal Court later ruled “Blue Movie” was obscene and the theater's manager was fined $250.00 – the ruling was never appealed and remains on the books. Warhol would publish a book version of “Blue Movie” with stills from the production, but the film was rarely shown again until a 2005 screening at the New York Film Festival.

Expelled From Windsor Castle: In 1982, British tabloids ran amok with the story that Prince Andrew was dating Koo Stark, a New York-born actress and model. While Stark’s career was less than stellar – she was an uncredited bridesmaid in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” and was cast as Camie Marstrap, Luke Skywalker’s first crush in a deleted segment of “Star Wars” – she did gain notoriety for starring in the erotically-charged films “Emily” (1976) and “Justine” (1977).

While Prince Andrew was reportedly deeply in love with Stark, his family forced him to break off their romance when tabloids erroneously reported she was a porn star – while “Emily” and “Justine” were steamy, they were not considered pornographic. Stark would continue acting and launched a second career as a photographer, but the falsehood that she starred in porn prevented her from becoming part of the Royal Family.

A Degree In XXX Filmmaking: In 2002, New York City-based adult filmmaker Joe Gallant was offered an unlikely opportunity to share his craft in an educational setting. Gallant’s course “How to Shoot Your Own Adult Video” was presented at the Learning Annex, a continuing education center, with the mission of turning the amateur pornographer into a genuine indie filmmaker. This turned out to be a very popular course and was offered for several years.

“My approach is guerilla – I like to shoot in public places,” said Gallant, who was formerly an Emmy Award-winning sound-effects designer for the soap opera “Guiding Light.” When he wasn’t offering insight into making dirty movies, Gallant achieved indie music recognition as the driving force for the rock orchestra Illuminati.

Elon Musk, Porn Star?: Last August, Tesla TSLA CEO Elon Musk received a highly unlikely offer: Nafty, a cryptocurrency finance system catering to the porn industry, offered him $6.9 million to direct and star in a porn film. The offer was based on a Musk tweet that referenced an adult-themed cryptocurrency.

“Elon Musk’s fascination with NSFW tokens indicates that he is clearly interested in the adult space, so we wanted to give him the chance to direct and star in his own movie,” said Nafty CEO Rob Kemenyfi. “He has accomplished so much in his life, but still hasn't checked porn off his bucket list. Now is his opportunity!”

Musk did not publicly acknowledge the offer, although last May he acknowledged an online video with porn star Taylor Jackson and her boyfriend having sex in a Tesla while it was driving on Autopilot. Musk tweeted, "Turns out there's more ways to use Autopilot than we imagined" – followed by the obvious rim-shot wisecrack "Shoulda seen it coming..."

Cover photo: screenshot from “Le coucher de la mariée” via Wikimedia Commons; “Blue Movie” photo courtesy of Whitney Museum; photos of the fake Marilyn Monroe and Barbra Streisand film photos and “Party at Kitty and Stud’s” courtesy of Cinema Crazed.

Posted In: 10 WeirdestBarbra StreisandBugs BunnyCandy BarrElon MuskMarilyn MonroepornSylvester StalloneEntertainmentNewsGeneral