21-Year-Old Tells Dave Ramsey Her Parents Want Her To Fund Their Retirement Because She 'Owes' Them — 'You've Got To Be The Adult In This Situation'

Some parents want grandkids. Others want their kids to visit more. Then there are the parents who—apparently—want their kids to fund their retirement.

That was the jaw-dropper from a listener named Hannah in Florida, whose letter to "The Ramsey Show" left hosts Dave Ramsey and John Delony both shocked and deeply concerned. Hannah is 21, married, and a new mom—and her parents recently told her that she "owes" them and should help pay for their retirement.

Delony read the letter aloud, pausing only to process the audacity. "I am 21, married, and a new parent to a son," Hannah wrote. "My parents approached me recently about funding their retirement because I ‘owe' them. There's been a lot of damage done in the past, and to be honest, I've lost respect for them."

Cue Ramsey's dry, immediate reaction: "Well, no kidding."

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You've Got To Be The Adult In This Situation

Delony was firm. "You don't owe your parents retirement," he said flatly. "Yes, there's clearly been a lot of damage done… and at this point, you need to be confident and strong. You've got a new family."

He compared the situation to having a metaphorical grenade dropped in her lap. "Not by your hand, but in your lap—somebody put a grenade there and you've got to deal with it. That means you've got to be the adult in the situation."

His advice was direct. "It could be easy to just block them and never talk to them again, but that just shoves the problem in a box and throws it in the ocean," Delony said. Instead, he suggested she write a clear message: "I'm not going to do this. My husband and I have talked about boundaries, and here's how we're moving forward."

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Proof You Don't Have To Pass A Test To Be A Parent

By now, Delony's frustration was obvious. "This is so toxic and so gross I don't even know what to do with it," he said.

Ramsey jumped in with his trademark bluntness. "Proof you don't have to pass a test to be a parent," he said. "Some of you people would flunk. Your parents are weird. You don't owe them a retirement."

He emphasized that while it's okay to maintain love and civility, Hannah needed to stop feeling guilty. "You don't have to cut them out of your life," he said, "but you do have to say, calmly, ‘No, we don't owe you a retirement.' You can still love them, invite them over, make them a meal—just make sure they behave while they're there."

Delony agreed and warned her to brace for backlash. "When people who don't have good boundaries get them handed to them, they flip out," he said. "Expect them to call you ungrateful, expect guilt trips, expect chaos. But that doesn't mean it's the wrong thing to do."

Ramsey chimed in again: "These are people who'll make you feel bad for doing what's right. But you're the adult now. Protect your peace."

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The Heart Of It All

In the final minutes, Delony circled back with empathy. "I can't imagine calling my own kids and saying, ‘Hey, you owe me for those diapers,'" he said, shaking his head. "It's heartbreaking that this young woman has to deal with that kind of manipulation so early in life."

Ramsey summed it up best: "You don't owe them. All you owe is love—and you can pay that debt every day without writing a check."

For Hannah, the message was clear: being a grown-up sometimes means saying "no" to the people who raised you.

And for everyone else listening—especially those with complicated family ties—the takeaway was as blunt as Ramsey himself: love your parents, but don't let them bankrupt your future in the name of gratitude.

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