'He's Cash-Apping Me'—A 'Dave Ramsey' Caller Wants Her Husband To Take Their Finances Seriously Like They Promised As Newlyweds 10 Years Ago

A stay-at-home mom called into “The Ramsey Show” recently with a plea that left hosts Jade Warshaw and Rachel Cruze deeply concerned. 

Married for 10 years, Nicole and her husband had once committed to handling their finances together after completing Financial Peace University at their church. But over the past decade, she said, her husband has kept her financially in the dark.

“He's cash-apping me for like, you know, just whatever—going to the store,” she said. “We have a joint checking account, [and a] savings account that his check is direct-deposited in that I do not have access to. So I do not see what’s coming in.”

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Ten Years Of Promises, Still No Transparency

The caller explained that despite agreeing early in their marriage to combine finances, her husband has resisted. She doesn't have full access to their money, doesn't know exactly how much he makes, and can only hope he transfers funds when needed.

“You’re at his beck and call: ‘Well, I hope he transfers money into the account, I hope he Venmo’s me and I hope he does this,'” Warshaw told Nicole. “There's no balance in that relationship.”

She shared that her husband has been married twice before and claims his past financial fallouts make him hesitant. “After 10 years of marriage, that only goes so far as an excuse to me.” 

The couple also has a 25-year age gap, which the caller said adds to her concerns. “Tomorrow isn't promised,” she told her husband. “If something happens, how am I even going to know where to begin?”

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When asked whether her husband would share login information, she admitted it's always promised but never delivered. “We'll take a day and we'll do all that stuff,” he tells her, but it never happens.

“That’s a problem, my girl, and I'm concerned about that. I don't like that one bit,” Warshaw said. 

Despite not bringing in an income, the caller said she has repeatedly offered to return to work or finish nursing school. Her husband always refuses, saying he wants her at home with their children.

Jade called the setup controlling. “You're not two adults making decisions together,” she said. “You're having to go to him and say, ‘Sir, may I have some money?'”

Cruze urged the caller to take immediate steps. “I wouldn't go to bed tonight until you have all that information,” she said. Both hosts agreed that access to financial accounts isn't a privilege in marriage, but a basic expectation.

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