A woman shared a financial dilemma with Suze Orman on her "Women & Money" podcast, revealing troubling details about her husband’s financial secrecy and questionable decisions. The story highlights deeper issues of financial transparency and trust in marriage — and Orman didn't hold back in her response.
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Financial Secrets and Mismanagement
The woman, who remained anonymous, revealed that her husband had been hiding financial details from her since the start of their marriage five years earlier. He refused to file taxes jointly and declined to show her his tax returns, forcing her to file as married filing separately. The financial secrecy deepened when she discovered that her husband had refinanced an investment property and pocketed $30,000 — without telling her.
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The situation escalated when the couple eventually sold the house for $300,000 above its original price. Despite the significant profit, the husband claimed he didn't receive any money from the sale. Orman was skeptical. "I have trouble believing that," she said during the podcast.
Orman's disbelief stemmed from the larger pattern of secrecy and control in the relationship. "Why are we staying in a relationship with somebody that we don’t believe what they are telling us, where we can’t open up mail freely, where we can’t see their tax returns?" Orman asked.
Spending Without Transparency
The woman's concerns didn't stop there. She recalled a time in July 2020 when $42,000 appeared in their joint account with Charles Schwab. Soon after, her husband withdrew $48,000 to buy a Porsche — without discussing it with her.
"How would you feel if you had a joint account with your spouse and all of a sudden from nowhere you see $42,000 enter that account and you’re like, ‘Whoa, where did that come from?'" Orman said. "And then all of a sudden, as quick as it comes in, you see it disappear, and why? He buys a Porsche with it, and he doesn't tell you."
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Seeking Financial Stability
Faced with mounting financial stress, the woman threatened divorce and insisted her husband attend therapy. He eventually complied and began attending weekly sessions, but the secrecy around finances continued. While he shared some bank and credit statements, he still refused to provide his tax returns or work with a financial coach. Three financial coaches had already walked away from the couple after being unable to reach a resolution.
The woman admitted she was torn about staying in the marriage, largely because they have a two-year-old child. Orman pointed out that the woman's focus on financial health — rather than emotional or psychological well-being — suggested that her priorities may need to shift.
"Is there any possible way for me to remain in this marriage and be in a financially healthy place with everything separate with us not filing returns together?" the woman asked.
Orman's advice was clear: financial transparency and trust are essential foundations for a healthy relationship. Without them, even financial success can lead to confusion, mistrust, and emotional turmoil.
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Orman's Divorce Warning
Orman's advice didn't stop at financial transparency; she also stressed that the woman should seriously consider the long-term consequences of staying in a marriage with such financial secrecy. Orman cautioned that, should they divorce later on, the woman would likely have to give up half of everything. This could include any new assets she gains, even if purchased separately from her husband.
In light of this, Orman emphasized the importance of addressing these issues sooner rather than later. If a divorce is in the cards, it's far better to resolve financial issues while things are still relatively fresh and the stakes are clearer, rather than years down the road when assets have compounded and the legal process could become even more complicated.
"Once you divorce him, you now have stopped the clock on all the money that you’re going to accumulate in the future or with your parents, where he will no longer be entitled to it," Orman said.
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