A request for a $50,000 loan after a fire left a Reddit user weighing financial boundaries against friendship.
According to the original poster, the friend said she was "struggling" and requested the money to cover personal expenses and keep her business working. She asked for an answer by the next day.
The OP described the situation on the r/AmIOverreacting subreddit, writing that they responded with a hesitant "maybe" because they did not know how to refuse in the moment.
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"I don't like lending money," the OP wrote. The OP referenced a past experience after college, when they loaned a roommate $2,000 with the understanding it would be repaid within a month. The money was never returned, and the OP later realized they had been blocked.
A Request That Changed The Dynamic
In this situation, the OP wrote that the friend was not completely broke. Much of the friend's money was tied up in stocks, and she did not want to sell while the market was down. According to the post, the friend had very little usable cash available day to day, and there was no clear repayment plan.
The OP also wrote that they had previously advised the friend to keep cash available for emergencies. Lending such a large amount, the OP wrote, involved financial and personal risk.
In an update, the OP wrote that they declined the loan and set a clear boundary.
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Reddit Draws Hard Lines
"If OP loaned it — they would never repay. As time went on they would claim it was a gift. My father always told me never loan money to friends. If you do — only do it with the knowledge that you might never get it back," one commenter wrote. "My dad always said never lend money unless you are willing to lose the friendship or the money," another added.
Some responses focused on the friend's explanation that her money was tied up in investments.
"Keep it brief and direct: ‘Sorry I can't lend you the money. I know you don't want to, but I think you need to sell some of your stocks.'"
Other comments emphasized that the amount alone justified saying no.
"Fifty thousand dollars isn't help — it's a life-changing financial risk," a user wrote. "You're not a private lender just because you saved responsibly. That's not how friendships work," another response said.
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