'I'm Not Selling Any Of My Stuff,' Husband Insists As Family Survives On $36K — Wife Uncovers $209K In Credit Cards And Fears Financial Collapse

Anne, a caller from Pittsburgh, said she discovered $209,000 in credit card debt after years of having no access to her family's finances.

She told "The Ramsey Show" the household survives on about $36,000 a year while her husband controls nearly all accounts and refuses to sell valuable assets that could reduce the debt. 

The situation came up during a recent episode of the show, where Anne said the discovery left her worried about financial collapse and protecting her special-needs son.

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Anne told "The Ramsey Show" co-host Rachel Cruze that she and her husband, both self-employed and in their 50s, have been married 19 years. She said her name is not on the main bank account, she has no login access, and business and household expenses are mixed together. She added that she only learned the full scope of the debt after reviewing files on her own.

A Debt Load Far Bigger Than Income

Anne said the $209,000 balance is spread across multiple credit cards, some tied to her husband's electrical contracting business. She added the family also has a $21,000 car loan and a $243,000 mortgage on a home she estimated could be worth about $700,000 if sold.

Co-host Jade Warshaw asked about income and taxes. Anne said her husband's business brought in about $233,000 in gross revenue last year, but net income dropped to roughly $26,000 after expenses and depreciation. Anne said her own home-based business brings in $10,000 or less annually, leaving the family reliant on credit cards to cover monthly costs.

Warshaw said paying only minimum balances while income stays low creates a dangerous gap. Anne confirmed the cards are being used to keep the household afloat month to month.

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Control And Lack Of Transparency

Anne said attempts to discuss budgeting or repayment often lead to angry reactions. She told the hosts her husband dismisses spreadsheets she created to track balances and interest rates. She also described growing concern about his mental health, saying alcohol use has increased and he denies the debt in front of friends.

Warshaw said the lack of financial access raised serious concerns. She told Anne that money creates a paper trail that shows what is really happening in a household. Without access, Warshaw said, one partner cannot protect themselves or their child.

Anne said leaving the situation is complicated. She told the show her autistic son has lived in the home his entire life, and her business operates from the property. She said removing him from that environment would be deeply disruptive.

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Assets He Refuses To Sell

Anne said her husband owns large collections that could potentially reduce the debt, but he refuses to part with them. "I'm not selling any of my stuff," she said he repeatedly tells her. Anne said those items may be the family's only realistic way to regain control.

Warshaw encouraged Anne to set clear, measurable boundaries tied to transparency and counseling, adding that options still exist even when they are uncomfortable. Cruze echoed the urgency, pointing to the strain of trying to survive on limited income while debt continues to grow.

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