A woman in New Orleans recently called into “The Ramsey Show” with a personal finance question that quickly turned into a relationship intervention. Penny, who's been with her boyfriend for four years, said he refuses to marry her unless she pays off a $30,000 Parent Loan for Undergraduate Students she took out for her 23-year-old son's college education.
The Loan Isn't The Real Problem
Penny explained that she and her son had agreed he would make the loan payments, and so far, he has. “Legally, yes, I'm responsible for the loan,” she said. “But as far as the agreement between my son and I, he will be making the payments.” Nothing is in writing, though.
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Her boyfriend, with whom she also shares a 7-month-old baby, says he doesn't want to enter marriage while that debt is still hanging over her head. Penny says he believes once they get married, the loan becomes his burden too.
Co-host George Kamel got straight to the point. “This man procreated with you before marriage, but he’s like, ‘Yeah, go ahead and pay that Parent PLUS loan off. I’m not going near marriage until you get that done’?”
Co-host Ken Coleman pressed further, asking if this was really about money or something deeper. “Do you think that this is a principled financial stand or that this is a cop-out because he doesn’t want to put a ring on your finger?”
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Penny insisted it was about the principle of being debt-free, but the hosts weren't buying it. “I think this is a convenient principle to not marry you,” Coleman said. “And you’ve bought it hook, line and sinker.”
The couple hasn't combined finances, and they still live in separate homes they each bought before the relationship. They split baby costs but otherwise keep their money separate. Penny admitted they only live together “some of the time.”
Ken pointed out the inconsistency. “He’ll have a baby with you, but, oh, I’m going to stop short of actually marrying you?” George added, “The commitment’s already happened. He just can’t admit it yet.”
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When asked if she wants to marry him, Penny responded, “Correct.” George and Ken agreed that this is no longer about a loan. “This is a DTR, define the relationship, conversation,” Coleman said.
They encouraged her to have cash saved in case her son couldn't make the payments, but said the real issue is her boyfriend’s avoidance of full commitment. “If it wasn’t the debt, it’d be another thing,” Kamel said. “He’d be like, ‘Well, I don’t like that you have your own house. Until you sell that, I’m not going to get married.’ There’s always going to be another reason.”
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