An employee recently kicked off an online back-and-forth with a straightforward question: “Do all managers drink the corporate Kool-Aid?”
In a post on r/managers, they described how a close friend, once pro-union and down-to-earth, seemed to change overnight after getting promoted. “It’s like invasion of the body snatchers,” the original poster wrote. “Even his sense of humor is different. It’s bananas.”
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Managers Respond: It’s Not Kool-Aid, It’s Pressure
Many current and former managers quickly jumped in to clarify that the shift isn’t about blind loyalty to corporate agendas, but the result of the role’s built-in pressures and expectations. One highly upvoted comment summed it up: “We’re trying to balance the needs/wants of our direct reports and the needs/wants of those above us. Some decisions are passed down and we have absolutely no control over the decision. It's a sticky situation to be in.”
Another manager added, “Middle management is the hardest leadership in the civilian world. You’re always wrong and someone is always mad at you.”
Some pointed out that once you get access to broader company information, your perspective naturally shifts. “Suddenly you can see that the guy you used to commiserate with actually does a quarter of the work of everyone else on the team,” one commenter wrote. Others said management reveals how often mediocre performers expect praise or raises simply for doing the basics.
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Caught In The Middle, But Can’t Say So
Several replies emphasized the loneliness of the role. “A manager who regularly bashes ‘management’ is not actually gaining any more clout with his or her team,” one user wrote. “He or she is simply undermining all of management—including themselves—in the eyes of their own team.”
One person summed it up with a quote from “Saving Private Ryan:" “Gripes go up, not down.”
This leaves managers in a tough spot. Tasked to uphold decisions they might disagree with, without undermining the chain of command. “It’s perfectly ethical to resign if you absolutely cannot support the company’s policy,” one person said. “What you don’t get to do is take their paycheck and then work against their decisions.”
Some admitted that pretending to agree with unpopular policies can feel dishonest, but they also said being too transparent can cause more harm.
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The Emotional Toll Is Real
Managers in the thread described the role as emotionally taxing, isolating, and often thankless. One person shared, “Being a personnel manager is often a lonely f***ing job. You take it on the chin from upper management for the same team that giggles behind your back for ‘drinking the corporate Kool-Aid.'”
Others echoed the same frustration. “Now your livelihood is tied to how well your team does,” one wrote. “So while it’s great that Bob and Steve like to take a little longer for lunch on Thursdays, you’re held responsible for their productivity which sucks after the three margarita lunch. So now you’re not cool with it anymore, cause it affects you now directly.”
And while some do become power-hungry or overly corporate, most commenters argued that those are the exception, not the rule.
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