A stay-at-home mom thought she and her husband had found the perfect home. They agreed to a $430,000 price, put together a $165,000 down payment from savings and a gift, and signed the contract. Then her husband changed his mind.
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Financial Anxiety Sets In Despite Solid Math
“It met all our needs, in one of the best school districts in the state, and needed nothing done to it,” the original poster wrote on Reddit’s r/RealEstate. But after crunching numbers, her husband had a meltdown.
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The couple planned to put down $85,000 of their own money plus an $80,000 gift from his parents. Their monthly mortgage payment was estimated at $1,880. With a take-home income of $5,500 and no major debt, the numbers seemed manageable. Still, the husband panicked, saying there wouldn't be enough “free cash” left every month.
In a follow-up, the husband explained, “My $5,500 take-home is net after maxing out the 401(k)… we want to allocate $30K of the sale price [of our current home] to an emergency fund.” He added that they were also contributing $1,200 a month to Roth IRAs and $400 to a college fund, leaving them with only a few hundred dollars in wiggle room.
Tension Builds Over Trust And Timing
Even though the home was a rare find that ticked every box, the husband now wants to consult a lawyer to get out of the contract. Their realtor advised waiting until inspection to potentially withdraw—a common tactic even if the inspection is “informational only.”
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But that wasn’t enough reassurance. The husband admitted, “The largest reason I am experiencing anxiety is that we are coming from a $1,100 a month mortgage payment, which leads to a lot more free cash. I just want to make sure my family is financially sound.”
Commenters weighed in fast and hard. “I would kill for a $1,900 a month mortgage,” one wrote.
Others were more sympathetic. “Financial stress is hard on marriages, and your husband is prone to it. He probably isn't suited to homeownership because of ongoing repair costs. He will fret about it,” one person said.
Another reassured OP saying, “You plan to go back to work and it will add to your budget. It’s scary to make a big purchase, but I would regret walking from my perfect home. It may not come back around.”
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Was It Really Unaffordable? Or Just Fear?
Many questioned whether the fear was justified. “$1,880 a month is less than what most rents are for a decent place,” a commenter said. “You’re in far better shape than most. This seems like panic, rather than an actual financial issue.”
Some pointed to the family's unique situation. “They have an autistic child. Adds a ton of insecurity,” one user noted.
Still, others slammed the decision-making process. “You should have been looking at $300K and lower houses,” one wrote. “How did a mortgage company approve that?”
One agent weighed in honestly: “Signing a contract that does not give you any sort of due diligence or inspection contingency, and is only for informational purposes, is a really bad idea. No house is worth that.”
If the couple backs out, they'll likely lose the $3,000 earnest money deposit. Most commenters agreed it's a small price to pay compared to long-term regret or marital tension. But others warned that dragging it out might damage their standing in future offers.
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