Marijuana is Actually Good for You

Suddenly, my high-GPA, bong-fueled undergraduate years make so much more sense.

Two recent studies suggest that regular marijuana use may actually help, rather than harm, the human body. First, a study published this summer (link to scholarly paper

) showed that cannabinoids (aka marijuana) work to protect the brain from damage that would otherwise occur from alcohol withdrawal. According to the study, "In the current study we show, first, that ethanol withdrawal increases both basal neuronal death and NMDA-stimulated neuronal death in primary cortical cultures, probably due to a change in the expression of NMDA receptor subunits. Second, we evidence for the first time that, during ethanol withdrawal, the stimulation of the endocannabinoid system protects neurons from excitotoxic insults, whereas its blockade aggravates neuronal death induced by NMDA. We show that the neuroprotective effect of HU-210 during ethanol withdrawal could be explained by a reduction in Ca2+ influx through NMDA receptors." In English? Marijuana stops the brain from killing itself when undergoing alcohol withdrawal. You now have a perfectly valid excuse for drinking all weekend and smoking marijuana all week, college students. A second study that came out shows that marijuana use is linked to obesity — but not in the way you think. People who smoke marijuana regularly are LESS likely to be obese than non-smokers. That's not a typo. The study found that 22 to 25 percent of people who don't smoke pot were obese, while 16 to 17 percent of cannabis users were obese. Among heavy users, the difference was even greater. About 14 percent of participants who used cannabis three days a week or more were obese, the researchers said. Given the way stoners can throw down Doritos and Mountain Dew, that result shocked the researchers so much that the performed the study a second time...and got the same result. And no, they weren't stoned while they were running the numbers. For my part, these results are not that surprising. Marijuana is an obvious relaxant for people who suffer from chronic anxiety and depression — two illnesses that are linked to overeating, a lack of exercise (from a lack of energy) and obesity. It's also a mood enhancer, again for people who might otherwise use comfort foods as a way to combat boredom or loneliness. Furthermore, marijuana is a fairly social drug. Not many people spend a significant amount of time smoking pot by themselves, unless they're using the drug to medicate themselves (legally or illegally). Most marijuana users do so in social settings. If they're regular marijuana users, then by default, they're spending a lot of time in social groups doing things with other people. This is another factor in preventing obesity. Marijuana is also incredibly helpful in pain management and nausea, allowing cancer patients and others with chronic (no pun intended) pain to pleasantly relieve symptoms without the harmful side effects of addictive drugs. All in all, marijuana is pretty good for the human body. Science says so! Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go deadlift three sets and then rip this six-foot bong.