Shutting Down

Everyone handles upsets in various different ways. There are those who: · Yell a few expletive words and it is over · Argue for hours · Say self-deprecating things and go into a depression · Get upset and then act with reason and compromise · Find value in learning a lesson from the situation, or · Shut out others, build tension, anxiety, anger and depression While all negative reactions can be damaging to your profits, shutting down is the most damaging to your health. Re-enacting family behavior Sid had a volatile temper whenever his expectations were not realized. He would not only blast out angry insulting words to himself, but he also did it towards anyone within shouting distance. His frequency of anger did not reach a fever pitch until he decided to supplement his income by trading. Sid's computer received most of his vile language, and he wondered why it gave him so much trouble. I call this negative computer karma. Perhaps, you do not believe in such things, but do you want to take chances that something like this does not exist? J Depression would follow Sid's negative outbursts, and he would then cut everyone off from conversation. When Sid was hit with more than five losses in a row, he called me. When we went over his Trader's Evaluation, it was obvious that emotional volatility was an issue. I told him that with what I saw on his evaluation he definitely needed private coaching. He agreed, but it was not until six months later when his family decided to divorce him that he made a commitment to receive help. What I learned was that Sid was so used to his own behavior that he did not recognize how much it affected the people he lived with until his wife served him with divorce papers. His model for anger and depression came from his parents. For him, it was normal to behave this way and he found it strange that others would take it so seriously. When I worked with him in private coaching, I found out that Sid would go through a ritual just before coming out of each negative rant. He would take a walk in the park, feed and talk to the ducks, look at his issue from a broader perspective, buy his family a gallon of ice cream and plan for the next day. We worked on issues that had to do with his parents not having enough to pay the bills. Sid is now back with his family and only calls when he feels he needs to let off steam. He has less volatility in trading and that results in higher profits. Preventive action As part of a trader's contingency planning it is important for him to understand how he handles negative issues to ward off serious consequences. If he does not plan for these stressful times in advance, it could mean great losses in profits. Here are some solutions: Know the positive trigger that pulls you out of the negative issue This solution can reduce the amount of time a trader is in his shut down mode. This is especially true if he can create a conditioned response to that one trigger. It can be just seeing the picture of loved ones, hearing or reading inspirational words, talking to a friend or a coach or perhaps taking a long walk. For me it is organizing and planning. Give yourself a reward or punishment Perhaps, you need to take the day off and do something that makes you feel good about yourself and brings everything into perspective. Or, perhaps you need to take yourself away from trading until you settle the upset. For some traders just the threat of not being able to trade for a day is enough incentive to shake off a disruptive issue. Take a broader view Sit in a quiet place and see the issue that you are dealing with from different perspectives. Look at the issue from several other people's perspective. Look at the issue from a larger perspective of time and space. Write down why you are angry until you are repeating yourself. Being with the problem Sit in a room where you have no stimulation such as books, computers, television or people to talk to. Do not get up until you have resolved the issue. Conclusion It is part of human nature to become upset. Each of us has the ability to overcome emotional upset in a shorter span of time. When you contingency plan for such events and then activate the plan, you are less likely to shut down your ability to recognize and take opportunity within your plan. If you cannot do it yourself, then get help. Adrienne Toghraie coaches traders and investors to their next level of success by helping them overocme their self-imposed limitations. She has been a keynote speaker since 1989, author of 13 books, and owner of TradingOnTarget.com