A recent caller to “The Ramsey Show” sparked a heated discussion about faith, family, and financial responsibility. Emily, a ministry worker from Detroit, phoned in to ask if it was ethical or biblical for her brother—also a pastor—to keep having children while relying on state aid and financial help from extended family.
A Family Divided Over Money And Beliefs
Emily explained that her brother and his wife have eight children and believe that Christians should “have as many children as possible,” regardless of financial limitations. “He has actually said in podcasts and interviews that if you have more children than you can afford to have, that qualifies you as the needy,” she told personal finance expert Dave Ramsey and co-host Jade Warshaw. “And the church and family members are called to help the needy.”
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Emily called the situation “lunacy” and asked the hosts if they felt this approach was biblical.
“That is not biblical,” Ramsey said. “The Bible does say to be fruitful and multiply. Bible also says that those who won't take care of their own household are worse than an unbeliever.”
Ramsey emphasized that long-term dependence on welfare is not a pathway to success. “I’ve never met anybody on welfare that had just a wonderful life,” he said. “It’s not a moral judgment—it’s just loving the person and saying, ‘Gosh, I’ve never met anybody who prospers on government aid.'”
Warshaw echoed the sentiment, pointing out that Emily's brother had made his decision and that it wasn't really Emily's place to try to change it. “Respectfully, I’d just mind my own business because nobody’s coming to you for money, right?” Warshaw said.
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Still, Emily said she felt pressure from others in the extended family, including people who had suggested that she and her husband should also be contributing.
Drawing The Line On Family Generosity
Emily's parents, who live near her in Detroit, fly out regularly to visit the grandchildren and are generous when they do. But she says her brother often drops hints about needing help, mentioning things like bald tires or broken glasses for the kids. She asked Ramsey how her parents could set better boundaries.
“Fixing the bald tires or replacing the lost glasses is not going to repair this situation,” Ramsey replied. “It’s bigger than that.”
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He recommended the parents simply set a budget and stick to it. “When we go out here and visit, we’re planning to drop $1,000 into kids’ stuff that they need right now because their dad’s kind of a doofus,” Ramsey said. “Then when it gets above that, I’m not going to do any more than that.”
Warshaw added that the deeper issue is watching people you care about struggle because of decisions they won't change. “That’s the hardest part of all this, though,” she said. “When you see a better way and you know a better path and you just want that person to change.” Ramsey added, “That’s how we become enablers if we’re not real careful.”
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