Seven in 10 parents over age 55 with at least $500,000 saved say they've created a will or estate plan, according to Fidelity's latest Family & Finance study. However, some 68% of those same parents haven't told their adult children anything about what they'll eventually inherit.
Why Parents Are Not Communicating Estate Plans
The study found a big disconnect between what parents think their children are ready for and what kids believe. Around 95% of adult children say they feel prepared to manage inherited wealth, but only one in four parents actually believes that. So while parents may trust their kids' character, they're less sure about their financial readiness.
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Part of it is emotional too. Talking about death, money or future responsibilities can feel uncomfortable or too heavy. Some parents worry about creating tension between siblings. Others simply don't know how to start the conversation. "As people get older – especially past 70 – they often become less willing to talk about things like estate planning, long-term care, or how their family can be involved in planning and decision-making," said Timothy Habbershon, managing director and founder of the Fidelity Center for Family Engagement.
But avoiding the conversation doesn't make things easier. It tends to do the opposite. When expectations aren't clear, your children may make assumptions about what they'll inherit, when they'll inherit it or how it'll be divided. And that could eventually cause confusion and family friction, even when everyone has good intentions.
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How To Close The Communication Gap
If you're a parent, let your kids know:
- Where your documents are
- Who's in charge of what
- What your general plans look like
- How you want decisions handled
If you're an adult child, you can gently initiate the conversation by asking about logistics rather than money. For example, you can ask questions like:
- Where should we look if we ever need to access your important documents?
- Is there anything you want us to know about your wishes?
- Are there any responsibilities you'd want me to take on, so we're prepared ahead of time?
At the end of the day, creating an estate plan is only step one. The next step, and arguably just as important, is making sure the people involved actually understand it. So if you haven't already, talk to your kids or your parents to make sure you're all on the same page.
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