40 Reasons You SHOULDN'T Invest in the Stock Market

Let's face it – there are some investors that just shouldn't invest in the stock stock market. Period. If the criteria below apply to you, hang up your stock picking hat and put your money into an ETF tracking the market. Please. You shouldn't invest in the stock market if:

1. You believe past performance is indicative of future performance.
2. You buy stocks based on the products you buy.
3. You believed Netflix was a bargain at $200.
4. You bought Salesforce stock while insiders were selling like crazy.
5. You don't know when to cut your losses.
6. You want to be right more than you want to preserve your capital.
7. You think can invest well without understanding financial statements.
8. You think it's a good time to get IN when the market's gone up 100%.
9. You don't know who Warren Buffett is.
10. You believe you know better than Warren Buffett.
11. You believe in being fully invested at all times.
12. You believe analyst upgrades and downgrades are worth following.
13. You think Wall Street is your friend.
14. You think Jim Cramer is a great investor.
15. You once bought penny stocks.
16. You think mutual fund managers know what the hell is going on.
17. You believe beating the market is easy.
18. You once bought Starbucks stock because Barbara Streisand said she did in an interview.
19. You believe that the Dow is going to hit 50,000 in 5 years or by 2020.
20. You bought a stock because your friend Johnny told you it was a “sure thing”.
21. You think you can time the market.
22. You invest with money you need within 2 years.
23. You think you can pick a winning mutual fund.
24. You think financial advisors know what the hell is going on.
25. You think stock brokers know what the hell is going on.
26. You get nervous if your stocks drop 2%.
27. You get nervous if your stocks drop 5%.
28. You shit yourself if your stocks drop 10%.
29. You think MarketWatch/CNBC/Yahoo Finance/[insert financial media co. here] actually knows why the market went up or down today.
30. You think economists can predict the future.
31. You think you're “playing” the market.
32. You brag about your stock investments at dinner parties.
33. You fail to mention that stinker in your portfolio at dinner parties.
34. You think owning 50 stocks is how diversification *works*.
35. You think knowing how to do a discounted cash flow valuation makes you an advanced investor.
36. You think “paper trading” is the same as investing actual money.
37. You watch CNBC religiously.
38. You think a share split means your shares are worth more.
39. You trade based on quarterly earnings.
40. You once called into Mad Money to get Jim Cramer's advice on a stock.