Are You A Spending Junky?

A husband comes home with a giant smile on his face and a brand new laptop computer. “Honey, look what I got on sale today. It was only $1100!” he boasts. Not to be outdone, the wife reaches into her shopping bag and whips out a Prada purse. “Look, sweetheart. This was 20% off – only $800.”

Sounds like these people have a wonderful life, doesn’t it? Things aren’t always exactly what they seem. Aside from new credit card charges of $1,900 (plus tax), what these people have is a dysfunctional relationship. They are seriously screwed up. They’re shopaholics, or simply “spending junkies.” Some would say that they deserve each other.

What we don’t see is that this family already has five other laptops and the wife has nine other purses. It’s not the items that they want, it’s the buying experience they’re after. They each got their spending fix.

Product merchandising doesn’t help matters. Stores try to create a sense of urgency. Buy now or it will never be on sale again. Seize the moment, right? Spending junkies are vulnerable. They’re thinking about the women on the Titanic who passed up dessert – and that’s not going to happen to them.

Spending provides instant gratification. You see something. You like it. You want it. You buy it – whether you can afford it or not. But it fills a void. Common sense never enters into the equation. It’s purely emotional.

There are very few things in life that provide instant gratification. Where do you get your fix? Spending, eating, sex, drinking. Think about it. When you do any, or all, of these things to excess, you experience a particular feeling. It’s a kind of euphoria, or plastic orgasm – probably filling that void in your life.

Most of these over-indulgences have to do with self-esteem or the lack thereof. Our self-image makes us do crazy things. Some feed these needs by over-reacting, becoming obsessive. Oddly enough, we don’t seem to be able to relate the right need to the right obsession. People may be overeating due to a lack of sex. They may be drinking because they’re getting no respect. She may be overspending because she never got that Easy-Bake Oven she wanted when she was a kid. He may be overspending because he was breast-fed until he was 14. Who knows?

An article in Money Magazine recently reported, “Research shows that people who overspend usually do it to feel good or to feel in control, not because they need the items they buy. It makes them feel powerful, secure, and able to make their way in the world.”

I’m certainly no psychologist, but, if you see bling bling starting to build up in your closet or jewelry box, take a closer look and ask yourself what you’re NOT getting. A little introspection is way past due (as is probably your credit card payment). You’re not getting love, not getting respect, not getting fed, not getting laid, not getting heard, not getting paid, etc. – or any combination of the above.

If you wake up at 2 a.m. in the DVD department at Best Buy carrying a camcorder you’ve got a problem. If you can’t remember how the magnetic strip on your credit card got worn out, you’ve got a problem. You’re likely suffering from “shopambulism” (sleep shopping).

The problem is that, as long you’re carrying plastic, you’re a danger to yourself and others. Your relationships, your marriage, and financial well-being will continue to suffer. You may run out of relationships before you run out of money.

Hopefully, you’ve kept your receipts. Admit your problem. Take back the goodies and get some help. Therapy isn’t cheap. You may be able to put it on your credit card. Start a 12-step program. As long as the 12 steps don’t lead to the mall or Amazon.com, you’re going in the right direction.

(Mike Parnos has been writing about personal finance and teaching stocks and option trading for 15 years. Mike is the author of "Option Profits: The Naked Truth." Mke also writes a highly successful options newsletter at www.Mike-Parnos.com.)