Five Stocks Kirstie Alley Might Pick Now That She Lost Dancing Crown

Every season, a series of mediocre B-listers and professional dancers pair off on Dancing with the Stars, shaking their can-can for judges and an American public that shows an appalling lack of insight into what constitutes talent. This season, football player Hines Ward took the crown away from Kirstie Alley, who lost roughly 6,000 pounds during the filming of the program. Here are five stocks to consider now that Kirstie Alley lost out on Dancing with the Stars.

Fat jokes are about the lowest form of humor, so I'll resist the temptation to bite into those. However, Kirstie has appeared in commercials for competitor Jenny Craig, so maybe Weight Watchers will give her a try this time around. At the very least, the company makes those

Another possibility for the actress would be to star in some commercials for the NutriSystem brand. This seems unlikely, given that she just launched her own system, Organic Liaison, an organic-only alternative to the other weight-loss programs. Then again, she should be used to second place by now...

I'm probably going straight to hell for referencing Kirstie Alley and then citing a bunch of pizza and weight loss stocks. C'est la vie. A good deal is a good deal, and CPK sure smells like a good deal. The stock went up more than 10% Wednesday, and could be in for a good rest-of-2011.

Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight naturally (i.e., not because they were chained up and tortured at Guantanamo Bay for a few years) knows that exercise is a key ingredient to getting the weight off and then keeping it off. Skechers makes some of the most comfortable, stylish shoes on the market. I think I've had my pair for, oh, five years now, and they still look new. Well, new-ish. In any case, they're great for evening walks and for getting my butt to the gym.

If you lose that much weight in a short time, the odds are good that you'll need a new wardrobe. Who makes you look better for less than the Gap? Maybe Old Navy, but their commercials drive me nuts. The crazy feeling makes me eat, which I suppose would up my weight back to where my old clothes fit just fine. Short answer: stick with The Gap.