Forgiveness

When a trader does not feel he deserves to achieve success, he will create roadblocks to earning and keeping profits. Success issues stem from the lack of self-esteem. One of the components of a trader not feeling he deserves success is his inability for forgiveness. Many people will say the words, “I forgive you” to another person and believe that this is all that it takes to overcome the issue. For forgiveness to have an impact on the person forgiving, he must forgive himself for taking on the bad feelings that are associated with the issue.

John was neglected as a baby because his parents did not want to have a child, were worried about money issues and overwhelmed with their marriage problems. Even though John was given to his loving, nurturing grandmother at the age of 2, John could never get over his parents rejecting him. John became a CPA, married and had three children. He was a success in life until he decided that he would invest his money in stocks. The stock market became a passion, but he could not do better than break-even. He did not understand what held him back from executing his plan. It never occurred to John that it could be issues of forgiveness, because he had since become close with both his parents. He thought that he had forgiven them. When I worked with John, he talked about his grandmother fondly, but only referred to his present day relationship with his parents. The issue that John was dealing with was that even though the adult John had a good relationship with his parents, the child in him had not gotten over the pain of the neglect. He had not forgiven himself for taking on the pain. I can now report that John is a professional trader who only does his own accounting.

Anthony was a popular kid until he went to high school. He was a skinny teenager with thick glasses and an acne problem. Anthony was an exceptional student and violinist. He tried to ignore the terrible remarks, but he could not ignore the pushing. When a bully destroyed a precious violin given to him by his grandfather, his parents sent him to private school. Anthony became a professional violinist who also wanted to be a successful trader. When I met Anthony, I thought him to be a very handsome man who looked awkward. He was polite, shy, and tried to avoid eye contact. He wore ill fitted clothing and did not seem to know what to do with his lanky body. Anthony attended my workshop at a conference, came to a seminar and decided to become a client. When I asked him what he wanted, he said that he wanted to be a profitable trader. I pressed on and asked him if he would someday like to have a family of his own. This seemed a very hard question for him to answer. While I usually only work on what clients request, I also feel like I sometimes need to interpret their underlying desires. Anthony now has a formidable presence. He is happily married and is far exceeding the profits that he believed he could earn. He also has become a teacher.

The proof is in the profits. If you have tested a strategy to be profitable and you are not making money, then you have some form of self-sabotage that is obstructing your path. You may feel you have consciously forgiven someone who has done you wrong. You may think that you have overcome hurtful actions where you were a participant. The bottom line is - has that “younger you” forgiven the “current you” for taking on the feelings in the first place? Until those feelings have been transformed, you will experience sabotage in your trading results.

coaches traders and investors to their next level of success by helping them overcome their self-imposed limitations. She has been been a keynote speaker since 1989, author of 13 books, and owner of

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