Buy Gold Dips Because U.S. Politicians Are Ugly Actors

FRANKFURT - Buy as much gold on any pullbacks as the made-for-TV miniseries drags on and on. The theatrics in the Senate, the House, and the Oval Office, wouldn't cut it on a high school stage, but when you got enough corporate sponsors it gets play on every idiot box around the world. It's

, starring "

," Mitch "Earmarks" McConnell, Harry "I'm-Not-Gay" Reid, The Big O, the insane tea baggers, and a supporting cast of hundreds of others who need to emote before the cameras. The climax will be when the uglies figuratively throw grandma under the bus and steal her social security. And there's sure to be great applause when one of the ugly actors helps grandma up, but the camera will miss it when the ugly actor kicks her back down again. The little voice in my head is screaming at me, "Ramon, pedal your bike to that dealer near

and get a few coins for your pocket!" Maybe you've got more cash and can back up your gas-guzzling truck. I probably would if I could. Even Mr. Gold, Jim Sinclair, says the new magnet to watch is

. If you somehow still trust paper you can pick up SPDR Gold Shares

. You can also look at the Market Vectors Gold Miners ETF

and the Market Vectors Junior Gold Miners ETF

. For leverage, there is the PowerShares DB Gold Double Long ETN

and the ProShares Ultra Gold

. If you think gold has topped out, that

isn't half bad. To make serious coin on gold's decline try the PowerShares DB Gold Double Short ETN

or the ProShares UltraShort Gold

. As far as Eric Cantor betting on a U.S. default: if he were my older brother I'd whack him upside his head with a two-by-four. As Gerald Calente says, "

." Sadly, he's right. Maybe I better jump on my bike. If you have any new tips for me or want to send me gold, contact me at ramon.lewis.benzinga@gmail.com.